Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
