So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
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BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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