i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
