Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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