i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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