i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
