I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
