Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize