i jhust puked up my retainher.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
