So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
