My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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