So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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