the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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