So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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