If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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