I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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