I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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