Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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