it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize