the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
