She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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