I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
