If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
