actually, I'm a sock model
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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