I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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