FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
