You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
