the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
