the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
