the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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