i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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