I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
