They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
