the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
