I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Too much gin, very little bucket
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
