hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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