its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
