you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Non-Jews are for practice
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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