did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize