he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
