I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
