if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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