Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
