I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
