I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
