every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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