im drinking this country out of the recession.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
