If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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