I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
