yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
