I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
