I heard we made out
You smell like a Billy Joel song
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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