i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
