Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
