Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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