You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
