ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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