Cold hands, warm shart.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
