A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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