Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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