she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
