I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
