that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
